New year, new marriage. Well, sort of.
Whether you just got hitched in 2016 or
are coming up on your 10-year anniversary,
working on your relationship and building
toward a healthier, happier future together.
But exactly what goals should you set, and
more importantly, how in the world will you
actually get yourselves to stick to them?
That, couples, is the question.
You’ll also want to get much more specific
with your resolutions, as opposed to
keeping them very vague and general. For
example, don’t just vow to be more
affectionate in 2017; find measurable ways
you can achieve this goal, like touching
each other every time you watch TV, and
make that your New Year’s mission. See,
easy right? And definitely not nearly as
overwhelming as just trying to get in more
physical touch.
From learning his “love language” to
playing the appreciation game, we’ve put
together 18 New Year’s marriage
resolutions to get the love flowing and the
bonds growing in 2017. Remember: you
can tailor any and all of these to make
them reachable and achievable for your
own relationship.
1. Plan a weekly (or bi-weekly) date night.
Even if it’s at home once in awhile, commit
to a weekly (or bi-weekly) date night to
reconnect and keep the romance alive in
your relationship, suggests psychologist
and relationship expert Paulette
Kouffman Sherman, author of Dating from
the Inside Out.
2. Practice more positive talk.
Vow to say five positive things for every
negative remark toward your spouse,
recommends Sherman. Not only will this
help nip the negativity in the bud, but it
will also build both of you up and
encourage you to focus on the good in
each other — as opposed to dwelling on
the not so good.
3. Play the appreciation game.
Every evening at dinner, practice telling
your partner one thing you appreciate
about him and have him do the same for
you. It can be something specific like how
he helped you solve a dilemma that day or
more general like the fact that he works his
booty off to support you and the fam!
Switch it up nightly, and let the love flow.
4. Actively seduce each other.
And vow to make it a priority at least once
a month (if not more), advises NY Times
Bestselling author of 101 Nights of Great
Sex, Laura Corn.
“Dream up something unique to do
together in the bedroom, make a plan at
least a week out and let your partner know
something special is coming.” Drop hints
along the way (sexting works well!) until
the big, unforgettable night. “The elements
of surprise and anticipation that this helps
create are critical to a lasting, powerful
sexual relationship.”
5. Fight fair.
According to marriage and family therapist
Alicia Taverner, LMFT, owner of Rancho
Counseling, the best New Year’s resolution
for couples is to fight fair.
“This means refraining from things like
name calling, criticism, attacking
personality or character traits and bringing
up past issues into a current fight. You
want to fight about the topic at hand and
discuss it until you feel there is resolution
or an agreement to disagree.”
Here’s how she recommends structuring
the gripe: “I’m upset/angry/sad about. In
the future I’d like it if you could.”
6. Touch each other every time you watch
TV.
One thing Crystal Rice, owner of Insieme
Consulting, finds that couples in trouble
have stopped being affectionate in non-
sexual ways. So vow to do better!
“By simply sitting next to your partner on
the couch, you increase the probability of
affection, a commodity often seen far too
little in long-term relationships,” she says.
7. Stop lying about the little things.
Like looking good in a sweater that’s
gotten too small! Yep, you heard us right.
When we lie about the little things, it gets
easier and easier to lie about the bigger
stuff, explains Rice. “And then one day you
wake up and realize you’ve been lying
about feelings or thoughts or concerns that
should have been brought to light many
months or years earlier. You don’t have to
be a rat about it. You can say, ‘I like you
better in the blue sweater.’”
Whatever you do, just don’t lie.
No comments:
Post a Comment